My letter to HIM

Dear God
I have no idea where to begin. Unlike others this is the first time i am addressing anything to you.
I guess I should start with confessions.
I always was in a dilemma whether i was a theist or atheist. Don't want to get into that now so lets simply assume that i m agnostic.
I m drunk right now,drunk enough to have trouble typing ,drunk enough to be using spell check three times in every sentence.
Now that the confessions are done with lets get to the main subject.
God, they say you are merciful and always true to those who believe in you.Too bad i don't.Yet for the sake of argument if i were to hypothetically believe in you,for you know at one time i did so,I would say you have been fair to me.
Unlike others i wouldn't be thanking you for a beautiful life,caring parents and stuff. All i would thank you for is letting me be what i m. i would thank you for this brain of mine which works in ways only you have the power to decipher. I would thank you for my spirit and will that, no matter what, is always on a rebounding course.
Though i have had my share of hardships and sufferings, unlike others, i m not a whiner and i thank you for letting me face my battles on my own so that i could finally know what stuff i m made of.
I thank you for all the happiness you have endowed me with and i thank you for my caring nature which has earned me so many friends.
At the cost of sounding repetitive God, i thank you again for letting me be a self made man,someone who is his own master and knows no other superior authority.Someone who is so free willed that no chains of the world can stop him from getting what he truly wants to achieve.Someone who so much believes in himself that he wont let any self proclaimed well wisher even near him. Someone who is such an ardent fan of individualism that he finds the smell of anything that remotely resembles "collective responsibility" positively disgusting and nauseating .Thank you for making me the way I am , for letting me live life on my terms,for having the sole authority and responsibility over my life and my actions.
You know i don't believe in you yet. Thank you for accepting my choice patiently.I hope one day i turn the corner and find myself believing in you.Till that day God ,you know, you mean nothing to me. Thanks for understanding that.
Thanks for everything
Thanks for nothing.