That Gust of Wind

History, they say is a bad motorist, it rarely ever signals when it is to take turn. Not many people get a chance to watch history turn a new page. It now seems that if you look hard enough you just might catch a faint glimmer of the indicator.
Incoherent Rambling of a dead mind, the title was not not for nothing. There was a great deal of thought that went behind it. And by one sweep history changed it all. While I still ramble neither is it incoherent nor is the mind dead.
Rewind 4 months and all this was true. The mind was dead the soul tired and the brain lifeless. Life indeed seemed to be staring straight out of a dull, drab depressing portrait shouting to be rescued from the shackles of depression. And then Tesaract happened.
Little did I know one dinner could change the course of life . I went there dead and by the time I came out every ounce of my body seemed to be reverberating with unmatched rigor and passion. After ages I knew what I wanted. After ages I had re discovered myself.
The last four months were a haze or was it the previous phase of life that is hazy. They say pilots high up in the air get confused which way is the sky and which way is the ground. Am I suffering the same dilemma here? Let's say that four months i was living a life that is an ordinary daily life for all of us. Nay it would be wrong to say it was a life that was any ordinary life. But it was a life that many envied. A friend termed it a "permanent vacation". Imagine swapping the am and the pm of your biological clock , watching countless movies on a trot and playing all the computer games there were to be played and you pretty much get an idea how life was back then. There was just one little problem. Life was rudderless and i didn't know where I wanted to go or for that matter who i wanted to be.
And in a flash Tesaract happened and for once I was at the right place at the right time watching my history taking a turn and this time for the good. All it required was fighting it out. The people who mattered like, as expected, didn't back me up and the people who I knew would matter backed me upto the hilt. Living the life on your own terms can end up making you lonely but the beauty of it is you and you alone are responsible for your actions. Plus an additional adrenaline surge to prove your detractors wrong doesn't hurt your cause either.
My girlfriend once described me as a ship in the ocean tossing in the waves and to any onlooker seemingly lost but the ship is anything but it. It is waiting for that gust of wind that perks up its sails to enable it to soar ahead in the far far world. Needless to add if that ship was me Tesaract was the gust I had been waiting for all along.

Rakesh Ranjan, Welcome back.